I've been so discouraged, overwhelmed, drained, frustrated, and a whole other slew of emotions lately. I feel like Aubrey is at a really difficult age right now. I kidded around the other day that she is an over achiever and starting those terrible two's at 17 months.
I enjoy playing with her, and teaching her things. But I can't do it 24/7...absolutely nothing else would get done. The house would be a wreck (and with it on the market that can't be a possibility), and my school work wouldn't get done (and that's also not an option). My feelings are where yes you should play with your child, and give them lots of attention, it shouldn't be a constant thing. They need to learn to play independently. It's good for them. I need her to play on her own some portions of the day. Am I wrong for that? Because let me tell you, that little mom guilt thing kicks in. But I am emotionally drained, and frustrated because I seem to be slipping on being able to do it all.
It makes me feel terrible. I mean come on, I have friends who work, keep up their houses, and play with their kids...so why the heck is this so overwhelming for me?
It's not helping that Aubs is in frustration mode either. Everything seems to frustrate her. I think a lot of it is her lack of communication. The only way she feels like she can effectively communicate is to whine, scream, etc. She is getting an independent streak, which is absolutely fine, but that also means that if something doesn't do what she wants to do, etc she's getting frustrated. I'm out of ideas on what to do to help this.
I know that she gets bored during the day. There isn't a lot of things that are geared towards her age group. I mean most of the fun toddler things H'ville has is for like 2 and older...I tried to take her to the mall play area the other day but all these older kids just kept running over her, and their mom's weren't paying any attention to them either. After she got knocked down twice and pushed out of the way once I gave up. And I hated that because she loves to be around the other kids (even if they are bigger) but it hurts her feelings if they don't want to play with her (and most older kids don't because well y'all know how it is...they view her as a baby).
When I get a chance to evaluate things, I know she isn't a bad kid, she isn't a difficult child. The problem is that I feel like I am the only one doing this. My mom is pretty busy and my MIL doesn't even bother calling me. Most of my friends work. I just feel like I don't have a whole lot of support.
Somewhat related, but kind of a side note/question. Toys. Do y'all just let your kids have all access to their toys at once, or do you bring groups of them out at a time? I wonder if I may not be overwhelming Aubrey. We have her toys at easy access in her playroom. But she seems to not take too much interest in most of them. She likes puzzles, books, her Dance Star Mickey, her Weeble Wobble treehouse, and her kitchen. The rest is give or take. I am thinking maybe I should rethink and put some up and not have so much out there at one time. I'm just not sure what to do about that situation.
Anyway sorry this is such a venting post, but I really don't have anywhere else to do it. I'm not 100% sure how to fix this, but I'll keep searching for ideas. We may be moving up the date we were going to put her in Mothers Day Out. She seems to love being around other kids, so maybe it might be beneficial to go ahead and put her in. It's only going to be 2 days a week, and we were definitely doing it in August. Now I am kind of thinking June.
Anyway though thanks for letting me vent. I know that this too shall pass.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm in the same boat. Aurora is hitting her "terrible 2's" early as well...she swings from happy to irritated on a dime and it can be so frustrating! The independent streak has hit too; she wants to do everything for herself, but sometimes I need to dress/feed/bathe her quickly just for efficiency's sake, which triggers a tantrum (my mom says I did the same thing at her age...).
Letting her play independently is a good thing, for a lot of reasons. It'll stimulate her imagination and give you a chance to get stuff done. As long as she's safe (you can see her, or she's in an area where she can't hurt herself), there's nothing wrong with letting her do her own thing, and it can save a lot of sanity.
I agree about getting her in Mother's Day Out early. We're talking about putting Aurora in a daycare/preschool, there's one just a few blocks from our house that I can do just a couple days a week and have that time to come home and clean, work, or grocery shop while she has her time to play and socialize with other kids.
I sincerely hope that you feel better and more at peace soon. Hang in there (insert picture of adorable kitten here)!
Candi,
Hey! Do not feel bad, you're really not in that boat by yourself! I remember Sur at that age and having the same frustrations. Some of it I thought was just us being pent up in the house, so I would go out to Walmart, the library, just about anywhere for a change of scenery. I also checked out a couple of dvds from the library to help get some future learning going (Potty power, abc stuff, etc). I don't think a kid should sit in front of the telly for 8hours, but I also don't believe 45 min -1 hour of a video hurts them at all. :-) PBS kids has some great little programs on (Sesame Street, Sid the Science Kid, Super Why) that really do interest them and allow you to have 30 min of "let me get something done" time. Hang in there girlie!!!!
On the toy thing, I'm all about rotating them around. I have a bin that I keep some of Sur's stuff in and when the others seem to be lacking interest I rotate those bad boys to the bin and bring out the others. I promise it's like new stuff which is great! Sur will to this day grab a doll that's been in rotation and say, "Oh I've missed you sooo much!" She's dramatic, but that doll will keep her occupied for quite some time while the others begin their course of neglect. hehehe
Keep taking it one moment at a time. You really are doing phenomenal!
I understand what you are saying. I remember when Rory was this age, I thought "Good Grief...is she ever going to let me put her down? Am I ever going to be able to go to the bathroom by myself?" Then one day, boom, she went to her room and just started playing by herself. She still wants interaction, but she will also kind of entertain herself. It was like she just all the sudden realized that Mommy and/or Daddy weren't required to have a good time. Hang in there!
We are going to do a MDO thing too, probably this fall.
I have lots to say, but I'll try not to write a book..... ;o)
Abby went through this same stage...and we still have issues with her temper. Abby would get frustrated and then hit. I know everyone does things differently, but what worked for us is the timeout chair. The first couple of times it devastated her to have to sit there (and broke my heart hearing her cry), but now she knows if she throws a little fit she is going to have to sit in timeout (we only do one minute or until she calms down).
I noticed a few months ago that Abby didn't play with over half of her toys. So, we took most of them out. She has her kitchen & shopping cart, her babies (3) & stroller, blocks, and books. Everything else was boxed up and I plan on donating it. It makes me sad...especially since most of them are really good, basically new toys.
As for the housework...and all the other fun stuff us moms get to do....please don't beat yourself up. I promise even those people who look like they have it all together don't! My house is a complete wreck through the week. We don't even worry about picking stuff up until Abby goes to bed...and even then sometimes we don't! I usually get caught up on housework on the weekends and my husband is a huge help to me. I know you guys have your house on the market, but I think as long as you pick up you are good. I've never looked at house and checked for dust bunnies. ;o) Also, school is a job! I admire you a lot for doing it all. I know Wes has been working a lot lately, so I'm sure that's where your frustration is coming from...you are tired. When he is on an outage...so are you kinda. A husband outage. lol. I'm not saying its his fault by any means. All I'm saying is that it does affect us when our spouse isn't there like normal.
Hopefully the weather will warm up some and you and Aubrey can play outside some. In the meantime...keep your chin up. You are doing a wonderful job!!!
Post a Comment