is to hate the words "Just wait". Seems like too many times when a mother is struggling and needs to vent, too many people who have older children than the particular mother want to discouraged her more with the words "just wait." I've been victim of it too many times to count, and by some surprising people sometimes.
Here's my thoughts. Most of the time when a mother wants particular advice she's going to ask. When she is just needing to vent, usually it's just a rambling of what's discouraging her. One that has been discouraging to me lately is in regards to the terrible 2's. Aubrey has them, and sometimes I get discouraged. I am not alone, and I know that, so I may just need to vent. One too many people has told me in various ways "Just wait, the three's are worse." Yeah they may be, I clearly have no experience as it is still 4 months until I have a three year old, but my point is for you to not be rude and point that out to me, but maybe show some compassion and quit being so smug and acting like I have no clue how much worse it could be. This is just an example. There are all kinds of situations where a mother could just use some compassion, and instead people she knows want to tell her how much worse it could get.
I believe it's the same in regards to pregnancy. Those of us that have been pregnant before should try to be an encouragement to newly pregnant mothers, not be a discouragement to all the "hidden joys" to what pregnancy may hold. And a huge pet peeve is when I see a woman tell a pregnant lady who has been having some issues sleeping, "Just wait, you will kiss sleep good bye when the baby is born." Gee that's original...I bet the pregnant lady is thinking "Wow, I've never heard that one before...I just thought I would get to sleep like I always have when I had the baby (dripping with sarcasm)."
I have tried to take the words "just wait" out of my vocabulary when talking about anything pregnancy or parenting. I want to try to be understanding, not discouraging. We all need to vent, and are not constantly looking for advice. I just wanted to put this out there, because I am pretty sure at some point and time we have all been frustrated...so maybe remembering that will help us to be more compassionate to others who are struggling as well.
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Amen. And the "cherish this moment, it won't last for long" crap. It doesn't matter how many kids you have either, I heard "just wait until you have two" all the time when it was just Dash, and I still hear "just wait until they both have activities going on" or "just wait until they're teenagers". I don't know what the deal is with trying to one-up each other. Can't someone just say "oh yeah, that sucks?"
Oh yes don't get me started on the cherish this moment. I'd like to say "Really? You remember when your kid was doing this? What would you have wanted to do to someone who was telling you that...probably punch them in the mouth!" Yeah I'll be honest there aren't too many moments of the 2 year old experience that I'll cherish. Just being honest know what I mean? I find myself thinking on more than one occasion Can I just hit a fast forward button? Sigh. I love my girl with all that I have and more, but you know sometimes you just want to go out into an open space and scream until you feel better ;) Or drink some wine lol.
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